My Savior
by HeIsNotOfThisWorld
Summary: Alex goes through an amazing experience! Warning:Self Harm..in the beginning.


My Savior

**Author's Note**

**Ok well, I'm dedicating this to my friend Alessandro! It's and early present… if you count early 3 month's before his real b-day! (: well enjoy!**

****

**Alex's POV**

I groaned as I brought down the small blade and slashed my wrist and blood poured out. I groaned again and again as I kept cutting myself.

Finally the pain was becoming too much.. I stopped I just stopped, but not permanently. I stood up and headed over to the sink. I washed my wrist as best as I could. I then grabbed the gauze from the First Aid kit which was in the cabinet.

I pulled down the sleeve of my black hoodie to hide the bandaging. I hid the blade under a loose tile, behind the toilet.

I excited the bathroom and headed to the living room to spend the rest of the day watching TV with my girlfriend Sabina.

"Hey Alex." She said cheerfully as I entered the living room.

"Hey." I replied giving her a kiss and sitting down next to her on the couch and wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close to me.

She sighed contently as she put her head on my chest and I put my chin on top of her head.

We were watching some type of comedy, but I was too sad to pay attention.

Currently I was with Sabina and her mom and dad at their house here in San Francisco. They decided to take me in since I had no one else to take care of me.

I sighed quietly and sadly as I gently tightened my grip on Sabina. Ever since my last mission where I went to Egypt, Jack died, and I killed my clone, I've felt depressed. Sabina's my girlfriend and I'm happy I truly am, but the sadness of Jack dying and the mental and emotional scars of that I've been through has made me depressed, and even Sabina being my girlfriend can't fix that.

I've tried cutting myself and I still do, but it only takes the sadness away for a while.

I've had thought's of killing myself, I've even tried to kill myself a few times, but I've never been able to come through with it, I just couldn't it. I knew if I killed myself then Sabina would be heartbroken and I just couldn't break her heart.

Speaking of Sabina, she doesn't know that I cut myself. She only knows that I'm depressed and she tries to help me as much as she can and for that and many more reasons I love her.

I sighed again and kissed Sabina's cheek. "I love you." I whispered in her ear.

She turned around and smiled at me. "I love you too Alex." she said kissing me.

I smiled into the kiss. Sadly we had to part, since oxygen was becoming very needed.

I rested my forehead on hers as we both panted trying to catch our breaths. "I love kissing you." I said.

She giggled. "Me too Alex." she said smiling. "Now let's get back to watching TV." she said giving me a quick kiss and turning back around to the TV.

I smiled, but only for a little bit as a thought struck me. 'How long until Sabina leaves me.' I thought 'It seems that everyone I love seems to leave me. I just hope Sabina doesn't end up dying because of me.' I sighed again resting my head on the couch. I don't know when, but eventually I fell asleep to the sound of the TV and the warmth radiating from Sabina.

****

**Two Days Later…**

**Alex's POV**

Tears were streaming down my face as I went into my bedroom. I went over to my dresser, opened it and rummaged around until I found what I wanted. A knife a big sharp knife, I had it in here, since I knew one day I would end up taking my own life. It looks like that day has finally come and this time I would not back down.

I stood there, knife in hand. I was ready to plunge the knife into my heart. I just couldn't take it anymore! It hurt to much Jack was gone she was all I had since my mom and dad died, my uncle also died and then my godfather who was responsible for my parent's death also died. I was so sick of this.

I pulled the knife back and readied myself to plunge it deep into my heart. But suddenly I was stopped when loud rock music began to play.

The music was coming from the neighbors house, which was some guy around 25 years old. And even though he pumped up his stereo and listened to rock music, he was pretty nice and he looked like a regular guy, but from life experience, I knew there was something different about him, though I don't think it's bad.

I never paid attention to the music he put on. But for some reason I did now, I don't why, maybe because I was going to make this my last day on earth and I wanted something to remember.

Suddenly a new song came up and I was somehow intrigued by it.

_You come to me with scars on your wristYou tell me this will be the last nightFeeling like thisI just came to say goodbyeDidn't want you to see me cryI'm fine but I know it's a lie_

I began to cry as I heard the beginning of the song.

_This is the last night you'll spend aloneLook me in the eyes so I know you knowI'm everywhere you want me to beThe last night you'll spend aloneI'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let goI'm everything you need me to beYour parents say everything is your faultBut they don't know you like I know youThey don't know you at allI'm so sick of when they sayIt's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fineBut I know it's a lieThis is the last night you'll spend aloneLook me in the eyes so I know you knowI'm everywhere you want me to beThe last night you'll spend aloneI'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let goI'm everything you need me to beThe last night away from me_

More tears streamed down my face as I dropped the blade.

_The night is so long when everything's wrongIf you give me your hand, I will help you hold onTonight, tonightThis is the last night you'll spend aloneLook me in the eyes so I know you knowI'm everywhere you want me to be_

_The last night you'll spend aloneI'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let goI'm everything you need me to beI won't let you say goodbyeAnd I'll be your reason whyThe last night away from me, away from me_

I don't know what happened, but as the song finished I knew I couldn't kill myself I just couldn't do it. So I collapsed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

****

**Later That Night…**

**Alex's POV**

I was sleeping when suddenly a bright white light woke me up. My eyes quickly opened.

I looked to the right of my bed where the light was coming from. The light was radiating from a man he was tall and he- I don't know if I'm dreaming or not-had wings and he was faceless.

"W-who are you?" I asked, but for some reason I didn't feel scared. I felt peace and joy.

"Tomorrow." it said "Go to the nearest Christian church and attend it's service. You shall be called up by my prophet and the church shall pray for you. Go tomorrow child, the Lord has something special planned for you." it said and the it suddenly disappeared.

I don't know why, but I knew I had to go to church tomorrow, I just knew I had to. I cried myself to sleep again, but this time they were tears of joy.

****

**The Next Day…**

**Alex's POV**

In the morning I quickly got out of bed an headed to the shower. I took a quick shower and changed. I put on some deodorant and cologne and headed out the door. Grabbing and apple on the way out.

"Alex?" I heard Sabina call out worriedly.

"Going out! Be back later! Bye!" I yelled as I I closed the door behind me and hailed a taxi.

"To the nearest Christian church you know." I told the driver.

"On it." he said nodding and taking off down the street.

In no time he stopped in front of a small building. I looked at the sign next to it. It read Christian Community. 'Sounds promising.' I thought as I handed the diver the change, said a quick thank you, and got out.

The taxi left, and I walked up to the door. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door and walked inside.

The walls where a beautiful snow white, and the floor was a wooden cherry red. There where four beautiful brown lounge chairs where I entered which I assumed was the lobby or something. There was a black desk in the corner and behind it was a young blond haired woman. She looked to be in her early 20's.

She looked up at me, noticing me. "Hello," she said I a kind voice "welcome to The Christian Community. May I help you?" she asked.

"Um yeah." I said nervously rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm uh here to attend your service."

She smiled at me and stood up. "Well," she said kindly "I've seen very few kid your age, attend church willingly." she said walking over to me. "My name is Merinda Fernand." she said holding her hand out.

I took her hand and shook it. "Alex, Alex Rider." I said.

"I like it." she said laughing kindly. "How old are you Alex?" she asked me.

"Um sixteen." I said

"You look pretty mature for you're age Alex." she said smiling.

"yeah, I get that a lot." I said.

"Are you British?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've moved here from Britain, about an year ago." I told her.

"That's cool." she said, then she smiled, waved her hand signaling me to follow her, she turned around. I followed her to a set of double doors.

"Right now, there doing the lesson, so since it looks like you don't have a bible," she said looking down at my empty hands. "I'll sit next to you and guide you through the lesson ok?" she said opening the doors.

I nodded and followed after her. When we entered the man speaking glanced at us, but didn't stop speaking. No one really paid any attention to us. Except a few ladies that smiled at the woman and at me and one man that also smiled at me. We sat in the back row, Merinda sat next to me with a Bible. She smiled at me and she leaned forward and asked the woman in front something. She moved back and opened the Bible. I saw her flip through it, until she found the page she was looking for. I glanced at the man speaking, he was talking about how much God loves us and his unconditional love for us.

"Alex." whispered Merinda.

"Yes?" I said looking at her.

"Do you want to read the passage that he's talking about?" she asked me.

"Uh yeah sure." I told her.

She smiled at me and handed me the Bible, I looked down at where she was pointing in the Bible.

"John 3:16." she whispered.

I nodded and read the passage. It read {For God so loved the world that he gave his gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.} 'Wow' I thought as the words I read struck me deep. 'Is this true?' I thought 'Is there really a God out there that loves us so much that he sent his Son to die for us?' I was really interested to learn more now.

The whole lesson went like that flipping from passage to passage on how much God loves us and the person speaking about his and other peoples experiences about God's love.

Eventually, the lesson ended. The man up front said for anyone that needed prayer to pass up front. A few people went up front.

I saw him put his hand on some people and he prayed for them. Every person he prayed for fell backwards. When they were on the floor I looked at their faces and I saw they were peaceful. I wanted to go up there, but the whatever it was yesterday a dream or a vision I don't know, but I think it was an Angel that spoke to me. It said that he would call me.

He eventually began calling people up. At one point the said that there was a young woman here who had cancer. I looked around, wanting to know who it was. Boy was I surprised to see Merinda walk up there. He put here hand on her and prayed, I think-I say I think because he began to speak in what sounded like a different language and I don't know how or why, but I understood it. He said and I quote "Spirit of Cancer I command you to get out of her in Jesus name!" and at once when he said that I saw her fall backwards. A few people stood over here praying for her.

The he looked around the room and announced something that shocked me completely. "There is a boy here named Alex who cuts himself." he said looking around the room. A few other people did too.

I didn't know what to do I was in utter shock. He knew my name and he knew I cut himself. 'Was last night real?' I asked myself.

He called out my name again. There were other boys here so it wasn't obvious that it was me. I sighed I knew I had to go up there, I just knew I did.

So got up off my seat and headed to the front of the room. Time seemed to slow down as the man saw me heading towards him.

"Alex?" he asked me as I stopped in front of him. I nodded.

He looked at me and said "You have been through much pain right?" he asked.

I nodded.

"And you have lost those near and dear to you?"

I nodded again, shocked at how he knew these things.

"And you've been cutting yourself to get rid of you're inner pain and depression?"

I nodded again, tears beginning to pool in my eyes.

"Well," he said smiling at me. "The Lord says no more! No more heartbreak! No more crying yourself to sleep! No more pain for you Alex Rider!" he said to me.. "He has something special planned for you! He will give you everything that you could want. The rest of your time here on Earth will be a special one!" he said. "But to do that, you need to accept Jesus into your heart." he told me looking at me.

I nodded.

"But, to accept him, first you need to forgive them." he said.

"F-forgive who?" I asked him.

"The one's that you lost Alex that's who."

I opened my mouth to say no, that I don't blame them for dying, but before I could say anything he stopped me.

"And don't say no Alex, He say's that you blame those that died, he says that you blame them for dying for getting themselves killed, for not being careful. You know that you blame them Alex, deep in your heart you know it." he said gently placing his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded. 'It's true I do blame my mom and dad for getting on that plane and not being careful, I do blame my uncle for not being careful and for keeping secrets, and I do blame Jack for driving in that Jeep across the desert and dying.'

"I-I"I said stuttering.

"Do you want to forgive them?" he asked me.

"Yes," I said "yes."

"Good." he said placing his hand on my forehead. "We'll pray for you, and with you." he said beginning to speak in that language again. Again I understood it. 'Lord let Alex forgive the one's that he has loved, so that he may accept you into his heart.' he said.

"Forgive them Alex forgive them." he said gently to me.

"I forgive you!" I said as tears began to stream down my eyes. "I forgive you!" I yelled.

"Say there names Alex, say who you forgive." he said.

"I forgive you mom! I forgive you dad! I forgive you uncle! Godfather! I-I f-forgive y-you J-Jack!" I said as tears poured down my face.

"Do you accept Jesus into you're heart Alex? Do you accept him as your Lord and Savior and that he died for you.?" he asked me.

"Yes!" I said and I knew in my heart that he was real. I don't know how, but I just knew that he was real.

"Repeat after me Alex." he said "Lord Jesus."

"Lord Jesus," I said.

"I accept you into my heart." he whispered

"I accept you into my heart." I repeated

"As my Lord and Savior."

"As my Lord and Savior." I said.

"And I believe that you died on the cross for me."

"And I believe that you died on the cross for me." As soon as I said that a sudden Peace and Joy washed over me and I began to cry again, but this time tears of joy.

"Do you understand me?" he asked as I heard him speak in that same language again.

I nodded.

"Do you accept your gift Alex?" he asked me. I din't know what he was talking about.

"Alex," he said "The Lord has given you a gift do you accept it?"

I nodded, knowing that if it was from God then I should accept it.

"Lord let him accept his gift!" he yelled in that same language again. As soon as he said that a sudden wave of peace and joy hit me and I fell backwards as I began to cry again.

"His gift has been established," he said "This boy understands tongues!" he yelled. I heard Hallelujah's and Amen's rang out through the church.

I felt hands on my legs and forehead and I knew they were praying for me. I wanted to open my eye's but I didn't want to leave behind the peace and joy that I felt. But I knew I had to open them soon. So I did and standing over me was Merinda and a few other people. She smiled at me and helped me up.

She walked over to my seat. "I'm happy for you Alex." she said

"Why you just met me." I told her as I sat down.

"Well you forgave whoever hurt you, you accepted Jesus into your heart and you have the Holy spirit with in you now, and I know that because you have the gift of understanding tongues." she said.

"What's tongues?" I asked.

She sighed "Well, it's kind of hard to explain, it's like well a different language, I don't know how to explain it, other than an example, it's the language that Prophet Alex was talking in." she said "And you can understand it." she told me.

"Wow." I said in shock.

"I know." she told me. "Well since church is over, um will I see you next Sunday?" she asked me.

"Definitely!" I told her waving good bye. And leaving the church feeling better than ever have in a long time.

****

**Two month's later…**

**Alex's POV**

Well it's been two month's since I accepted Jesus into my heart and let me tell you things have been so much better. I didn't feel depressed anymore and I stopped cutting myself. My scars have almost healed by the way.

After I came back home that day. I told Sabina and her family what happened to me. And they were actually shocked. So the next Sunday I took them to church with me and they also accepted Jesus into their hearts. So now were a happy Christian family.

Merinda, bought me a Bible of my own and I've been reading it every day learning more, and more from it. And that has brought me closer to Christ.

So now my life is so much better, that I accepted Christ into my heart and I know I'll end up in heaven for all of eternity.

"Come on Alex hurry up or we'll be late for church!" yelled Sabina from the car.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" I said getting into the car.

The only thing that has changed my life, filled the empty and painful void in my heart, and made me truly happy was accepting Jesus into my heart and getting closer to God.

****

**Author's note**

**Phew! That was long I hope you people enjoy it! So do you Alessandro! I hope it was good! REVIEW!**

**Signed,**

**Arty**


End file.
